Hi, I”m back. I don’t think many of you actually care that I have been gone but I just felt like copying the “Hi Guys, welcome back to my channel!” HAHA. Anyways, I haven’t written in a while and I think that’s because I only write things if I read a good book or I’m feeling things other than happiness. (That’s my way of telling you all that I have be SO happy it’s ridiculous..I mean life is just GOOD). I just don’t think people care to read about others happiness, we all know that everyone has the ability to be happy so we don’t need to have others happiness rubbed in our faces, right? To the book thing..my commute is so long, my working hours are so long & well I’m super happy so reading is tough. I’ve literally had to switch to audio books just to get through my book clubs book of the month. BUT anyways, I’ve been feeling some feelings and I don’t care to privately write them out, or to discuss them with the people in my life. Instead I either keep them bottled up or I write them on a public platform. It’s fine, I’m fine, we are all fine.
I am not going to bore you with the details of my happiness. You don’t want to read about that but I need to preface this with the truth and the truth is that I am actually SO happy. Sometimes it is actually hard for me to believe that this is my life. How can things this great happen to me? Even with all the happiness, even with all the greatness, I still find myself struggling. Some days my heart aches, sometimes my mind leads me down an awful tunnel of self worth. Some times the mirror brings on self loathing. No matter how things are going it is possible to feel those awful things.
I am constantly having an inner battle with myself, am I enough? Like full on B.Davis. Pretty enough? Smart enough? Strong enough? Kind enough? Do I work hard enough?
Anyways, you can be the happiest you’ve ever been and still feel this way. I am constantly asking myself if I am important to the people around me. Do I need to be a better me to be important? It’s the feeling of inadequacy. The struggle of knowing you are enough.
It’s okay to have this struggle. It’s okay to question yourself, as long as you answer with “I am enough”. Because I know that I am and that you are too. Just as Brooke Davis was. And if the people around you can’t see that..well, it sucks to be them because that is their loss. Not yours.
We are enough. We feel the feels, but we are still enough.